Taken by Police Officers

The van sped off. Tom had his head between his hands, looking at his feet. The handcuffs on his wrists were felt cold, alien and unwelcome. Jolted left and right every time the van took a turn, he was trying to remember how he got himself into that situation, but his thoughts were foggy, confused: it had all happened so quickly! One moment he was on the street partying with his friends, the next he was in the dark and austere police van being taken away.

The van kept going; it felt like hours, or maybe it was only Tom’s imagination. Surely they could get to the station faster than that? Or maybe they were taking a detour to patrol the neighborhood?

Another turn, another jolt. Tom started thinking he was being taken to some out of town’s station; as his mind began to clear, he realised it was a full moon night and it was Saturday: lots of drunks around, lots of troublemakers. The road had become uneven: they must be on a country lane by now. Tom tried to look out of the windows, but they were too high, and all he could see was the light of the full moon breaking the darkness of the night.

He could explain everything; surely they would understand it was a misunderstanding, but what Tom dreaded was the hours of waiting, the bureaucracy and the uncertainty of it all. He started thinking about the long hours in a lonely cell, waiting to explain to the police that they just got the wrong person… Maybe they could check CCTV cameras; maybe they had done it already, and he would be released as soon as he got to the station. If only he knew how wrong he was!

The van stopped; he heard a door open and shut, he heard the boots of a policeman walking heavily on what sounded like gravel coming towards the back of the van. The door opened, and tom managed to have a quick peek outside: they were in the countryside; he could see the road was light-brown, or so it appeared in the moonlight; he could see trees around and the air was fresh. A tall policeman stepped onto the back of the van; despite the situation, Tom could only admire how well built he was… He must have been about thirty-five, he had dark hair, he was tall, and Tom could see the policeman’s muscles under his uniform; he looked like one of those officers you see on television, one of those that go to the gym, one of those selected for their physical prowess, one of those he had fantasised about for years, in his most secret and private dreams…

Tom looked at the officer’s boots; he could see the light of the moon shining on them; his eyes went slowly up the policeman’s legs; they never seemed to end; Tom could not resist imagining how strong, muscular and well-built they were; in the dim light, he thought he could see the man’s ankles bulge up into perfectly sculpted calves, then stretch again to form strong, athletic thighs, and… He suddenly found himself staring at the officer’s crotch… He blushed. He quickly moved his stunned, dreamy gaze from the man’s crotch and met one of his hands; he was wearing black leather gloves. His hands were long and wide. His eyes were then drawn up; it was summer, and the policeman’s arms were naked; he followed their curves, their muscles; they were perfectly toned, hairy and…

He looked up; he met the policeman’s eyes; they were dark and deep and shimmered in the moonlight. He was perfectly shaven and had big, plump lips that looked moist and inviting in the dark. The officer smiled.

‘I am keeping an eye on you,’ said the policeman, with a weird grin on his face.

Tom didn’t reply; he had been told he had a right to be silent and didn’t want to get himself into further trouble; he would explain everything later.

‘You’ve caused us a lot of troubles tonight, you know?’ the policeman continued as if wanted to start a conversation.

Tom didn’t say a word, but in his mind, he wanted to swear and blurt out that they just got the fucking wrong man! But he controlled himself; swearing at a police officer is never a good idea.

‘We had been looking for you all over the town for hours,’ the man said, as if annoyed, ‘you wasted so much of our time!’

What the -? Tom thought, or maybe said out loud, as the officer’s expression suddenly changed, he had been at his friend’s, Joe, all night!

‘You got the wrong – fucking man,’ Tom heard himself stutter under his breath.

The police officer took a long, meaningful breath; his chest heaved; Tom could see his abs growing, and growing, and growing again…

‘What?!’ boomed in the van; the van broke suddenly, and tom found himself on the floor.

The policeman stepped on Tom’s back; he felt his big black boot pressing between his shoulder blades.

Man? What do you think you are? shouted the policeman, then Tom heard him laugh, and the other policemen at the front of the van join in.

‘I’ll show you what a man is,’ whispered the policeman into Tom’s ear.

Tom heard the man unzip his trousers, as his handcuffed wrists felt the weight of the policeman’s knees pressing them against the floor.

Tom’s head suddenly felt heavy and warm; his head was shaved, and he could feel a thick, warm and hard cock resting on his naked scalp. He felt the manly cock of the policeman impose its dominance onto his head; he felt it throb against his skull, forcing his head down. Then, he felt it rub around his skull, while Tom started perspiring, not sure if in dread or expectation. The policeman’s shaft was hard and hot, and Tom felt it push against his neck, then climb up onto the back of his head, warm and insistent, as he felt the man’s big, moist and hot ball sack snuggle onto the back of his neck. The officer’s throbbing cock rubbed its way onto Tom’s ear; Tom felt its heat penetrate his head, like a sudden ray of sun light in the night. He felt the big, dominant, and, yes, manly, cock slide down against his cheek, then down to his chin; with its strength, it pushed Tom’s face up, then slid past his lips and pushed against his nose; it smelt musky, like a cock that has been trapped in underwear all day, greedy and eager to release itself of the long day’s stress and exercise.

‘That’s what a man is like,’ the policeman’s voice was self-assured and full of confidence, ‘now kiss it!’

Tom tried to pull his head away, but the policeman had trapped it under his gloved hand, and felt the palm of the policeman force him towards the demanding cock.

He wriggled, and clasped his lips, trying not to touch the man’s cock with them.

‘You know you’ll have to, so, get on with it!’ ordered the dominant voice of the policeman.

Tom. Closed his eyes, as if this would make his humiliation less personal, less embarrassing? He pouted his lips a bit, just about enough to touch the policeman’s cock and kissed it; the man’s cock was as stiff as a rock and hot; Tom felt the man’s smell force its way into his nostrils and find its way down his throat.

‘Is that a kiss?’ the policeman’s voice was loaded with irony and scorn, then he added, loudly, ‘I bet my colleagues haven’t even heard it…’

They laughed, and he made it a point to shout out to the front of the van, ‘Hey, have you heard anything over there?’

‘Only the crickets,’ a voice came back with a casual tone, ‘and they are starting to get boring, why, have you got anything better?’

‘You heard them, little insect, did you?’ the policeman asked Tom, then added, ‘don’t you keep them waiting…’

Tom, kissed the throbbing cock louder.

‘I can’t hear you…!’

He kissed it even louder.

‘I still can’t hear you!’ this time the voice came from the front of the van.

Tom kissed the man’s dominant cock again, then again, louder and louder every time, as if making a fool of himself.

‘Good! What are you doing now, insect?’ asked the policeman, with a naughty, but somewhat inviting ring in his voice…

‘Tell me, insect, what are you doing now?’ he insisted, then added, ‘and make sure my colleagues can hear you too!’

Tom did not know what to say; he felt so powerless, so dazed, but then, he suddenly felt a wave come from deep inside of him, a wave of passion, a wave of lust, a wave ordering him to stop resisting, to give up control, to submit.

‘I’m kissing a man’s cock, sir!’ Tom shouted, and felt himself admitting his defeat.

The policemen at the front of the van laughed.

‘You want to show my colleagues how you suck a man’s cock, insect?’ the policeman asked, knowing there could only be one answer.

‘Yes sir,’ Tom’s shaking, voice complied.

‘Let’s start the show then!’

Tom heard doors open and shut; he heard boots marching to the back of the van, heavy on the gravel; the back door opened; Tom saw a a light shine in the big cock throbbing and towering in front if his face; it was the first proper glimpse he had had of the man’s huge cock; it was veiny, smooth, it looked immense against the dim light; he followed the man’s shaft up to the helmet; it was standing against the light, thick and greedy, like a dome of manly flesh against the moon light. He felt the floor if the van sink under the weight if the policemen; their shadows took turns casting themselves onto the man’s massive cock; the air suddenly became warm; the officers’ body heat filled the back of the van. They didn’t shut the door.

‘Here you go, crawling insect,’ Tom received the order while still pressed against the floor; he saw the cock move away from his face, just a few inches, then turn down, aiming at his mouth; its helmet waiting impatiently to slide into his mouth.

‘What are you waiting? Open up that insect’s mouth of yours,’ the dominant voice of the man said, and Tom stretched his mouth as wide as he could. He could feel the warmth of the policeman’s cock penetrating his mouth and filling his lungs, then, suddenly, he felt the man’s helmet slide into his mouth, using his tongue to find its way to the back of his mouth. Tom clasped the policeman’s shaft with his lips; the officer’s cock throbbed against the walls of Tom’s mouth.

‘Suck it, insect,’ the voice had changed, coming from one of the other policemen, ‘and make sure we can hear you suck it!’

Tom stared sucking on the man’s massive, warm and hard cock; he massaged its big, moist and throbbing helmet with his tongue; he pleasured the man’s cock with his warm, moist and submissive mouth, feeling it throb and push against the opening of his throat, feeling it penetrate him, insistently, and demanding no resistance. The man’s thick helmet slip past the back of his mouth, into Tom’s throat; it filled it completely and pushed against it, rubbing its flesh against Tom’s powerless throat. Tom gagged, but the policeman’s helmet took no notice, and kept pushing deeper down Tom’s throat, as his shaft enjoyed the soft, warm and moist massage Tom’s tongue had no choice but to give it, sliding irresistibly onto his tongue, into his mouth, pressing, pushing, feeling and throbbing.

Tom felt the policeman’s ball sack slap against his chin; it was soft and warm, and he could feel the man’s big balls rub against his chin and on his cheeks.

The man’s cock pushed in, till Tom’s lips reached the very root of the policemen’s shaft, and were forced to kiss the hairy skin of his crotch.

He then felt the man’s cock pull out a bit, then back in again, using his mouth as he pleased, then out, then in, trying to get deeper and deeper inside of Tom’s throat.

Tom heard steps on the floor of the van; he felt a weight on his back, then he felt his trousers being pulled down; he felt his pants being ripped off his ass; they tugged against his balls; he choked on the man’s cock trying to shout, but it kept pushing into his mouth, and, as he tried to speak, he felt his voice being silenced by the throbbing helmet of the policeman deep in his throat. The pants came off, and he felt a chill run up his spine.

‘Your insect has a nice ass, Sergeant,’ said a naughty voice behind Tom’s back. Now, tom finally knew he was being deepthroated by a Sergeant’s greedy cock; he didn’t know why, but it just made him feel like he wanted the Sergeant’s cock to ram even deeper into his insect’s mouth, and he moaned with pleasure and lust.

‘What’s mine is yours,’ the Sergeant’s voice gave Tom’s body away to his colleague with amicable ease.

Tom didn’t have time to understand the meaning of the Sergeant’s words; his ass was lifted from the floor of the van by strong and hands and he found himself kneeling in front of the Sergeant, who clasped his head firmly between his legs; Tom’s head was impaled on the Sergeant’s cock, and being pushed down to gag and choke on it by the Sergeant’s demanding hands… His ass was now in the air, he knew it was there, in the light of the moon for everybody to see, naked and defenceless, ready to be used.

He felt a gloved hand spank his ass cheeks; they started burning slightly and he felt a shiver crawl down his spine, along his neck and down to his mouth, which made him quiver as his mouth was being rammed by the Sergeant’s uncompromising cock… Two gloved hands grasped Tom’s cheeks firmly; his hole its lips as if waiting to be used. Tom could not speak, his mouth now owned by the Sergeant’s throbbing cock, but, as if to say, ‘Please fuck me,’ his ass hole shivered with expectation and pleaded to be taken.

‘Can I, then?’ voice behind Tom said.

‘Do as you please with it, Perkins,’ the Sergeant’s leave came carelessly.

Perkins clapped his hands, then, parted Tom’s cheeks with his powerful, gloved hands; Tom felt the fresh air kiss his hole, then, suddenly, a burning sensation rammed into his hole, delving deep into his body, penetrating him deep inside, not asking, but making its way quickly inside of Tom’s body. Perkins’s greedy cock rammed into Tom’s ass, forcing its way with a strength Tom had never felt before; Tom felt a pain grow quickly from his burning ass lips to his belly; he felt like crying, but as he tried to open his mouth even further, the Sergeant’s cock quickly filled his whole mouth, his whole throat and, so it seemed to Tom, his whole head, as if trying to push so deep inside of him as to meet Perkins’s stiff helmet inside Tom’s body.

Perkins’s balls slapped against Tom’s; he heard them smack; he felt them rub against his. His hole felt hot and full. While sucking on the Sergeant’s cock, his ass relaxed, it opened up, it surrendered to Perkins’s powerful cock… The pain subsided a bit, as Perkins’s cock rested inside of him.

‘Not bad,’ Perkins joked, ‘almost like a half decent inflatable doll.’

Laughter followed.

The Sergeant patted Tom on his head, softly, but firmly enough to make him choke on his big, hot and greedy shaft. Perkins slowly pulled his cock out, feeling Tom’s hole as it tried to hold on to his manly, big, thick and bent cock; trying desperately to keep it inside of his body, holding its skin, clasping the base of his helmet. He pulled his cock out, feeling every inch of Tom’s hole with his helmet, exploring it with his cock’s head, feeling Tom’s walls, moist, soft and warm, as they kissed it and sucked it back in. He pulled out, until only his helmet was inside Tom’s shivering body; he looked down, and saw Tom’s hole being pulled inside out by his manly, strong cock; he looked at Tom’s brown, soft, wet hole wrap around the base of his helmet: Tom’s ass was round and smooth, no hair, like a woman’s or, more appropriately, an inflatable doll’s.

Perkins stared at his own cock slowly slide out of Tom’s body, he looked at Tom’s juices trickle down from his weeping hole; as if crying in desperation and begging his cock to stay in; he looked at his cock shine with Tom’s juices in the moon light; he felt the chill of the night air on his shaft, against the warmth of Tom’s beautiful, athletic, smooth body wrapped around his throbbing helmet.

‘Look here,’ Perkins said, as he turned to his colleagues, ‘that’s not bad for an insect!’

Tom felt everybody’s eyes on his hole, being pulled out in supplication by Perkins’s dominant cock; he felt their eyes explore his pale, un-tanned and vulnerable ass; he felt their eyes drop down slowly into his crack, to find his greedy hole kissing the man’s thick, veiny, dark shaft; he felt their curiosity, their amusement, their lust.

Suddenly, Tom felt his hole close; he felt Perkins’s cock leave him, abandon him. He then felt the policeman’s cock rub against the base of his spine, feeling his shivers of passion, rubbing against his sweaty back; he felt the man’s helmet push against the base of his spine; then, slowly, the policeman’s cock dug its way into Tom’s crack, forcing his cheeks apart. It rubbed against his crack, pushing, as if blind-folded, in search of his hole; Tom’s hole opened up, leading showing Perkins’s body the way in, the way to his inside, the into his body; he led the policeman’s cock with his greedy lips to the centre of his hole, feeling the stiff and warm helmet of the officer’s cock rim his hole, exploring it, then, again, suddenly, push deep inside Tom’s body.

The Sergeant’s cock, in the meantime, kept ramming Tom’s face and throat, sliding in and out, unstoppable and greedy, pulling his lips out, then pushing them back in, using his moist and soft tongue to give his shaft a deep, sensuous and rapturous massage; making him gasp for air, then making him choke and moan; feeling Tom’s warm breath caress his shaft and his mouth suck on his stiff, big, throbbing helmet.

The officer’s big, bent and stiff cock kept ploughing Tom’s asshole, pleasing itself, its rhythm gaining momentum as he pumped Tom’s helpless but greedy hole, ramming faster and faster, digging deeper and deeper inside of Tom’s ass; enraptured and demanding, the man’s cock was using Tom’s welcoming hole for his own dominant pleasure…

Perkins kept ramming, digging, exploring Tom’s weeping hole, feeling it welcome his huge, manly cock more and more, submitting to his will, clasping his shaft, sucking on his helmet, pleading to be filled then…

Perkins pulled his cock out; he felt Tom’s hole kiss his helmet, he felt the cold, night air wrap his cock and throbbing helmet; a chill ran up the officer’s spine; he moaned, a flush of hot cum rubbed the inside of his cock, swiftly running to his exploding helmet, burning his cock from inside, then spurting out…

He took a long, deep breath; he looked down: Tom’s face was still impaled on the Sergeant’s cock; he could see his shaved head under the Sergeant’s leather gloves, clasping it, holding Tom in place; he followed Tom’s spine down with his eyes, between his shoulder blades, he saw his hot, juicy cum shining all over Tom’s shivering back in the moonlight; he saw it trickle down between Tom’s cheeks, onto his hole, still open, still warm with his own, manly cock’s heat, slowly pouting, as if wanting to kiss his big, strong, thick cock still. He saw Tom’s wet ass, shimmering and shivering in the breeze of the night.

‘Look at what the insect has done to me,’ Perkins joked, ‘his greedy pussy hole sucked me off! What can I tell the wife tonight?’

All the policemen laughed.

‘And what a mess he’s made! Look at the state of him: he’s had nice cum shower!’

Another peal of laughter reminded Tom that all the officers had just watched him being fucked, being deepthroated, being spit-roasted… He moaned and felt the Sergeant’s cock nested deep into his throat, hot, swollen and throbbing.

‘What can I do with the wife tonight?’ Perkins would not let the subject drop.

‘You still have your truncheon,’ a voice came from the crowd of policemen watching.

‘Ah, that’s always an option, isn’t it, insect?’ he stressed the last word of his question, as if expecting an answer.

Tom could not think straight; all he could do was feel the Sergeant’s cock pulsating inside his mouth…

‘Hey, I’m talking to you, insect!’ Perkins said, as if complaining, and slapped his ass.

Feeling the heat of the officer’s fingers on his cheeks, Tom tried in vain to answer, ‘Yes sir,’ is what he wanted to say, but, his mouth full with the Sergeant’s cock, all he managed was a stupid sound.

Laugher followed.

‘What, a talking insect?!’ Perkins joked.

‘More of a moaning insect,’ one of the other officers joined in.

‘O well, let’s see of my truncheon’s good enough for the wife!’

The officers laughed.

‘I need a guinea pig…’ added Perkins.

‘Mmm, I can’t see any around here,’ the Sergeant said, containing his laughter, ‘would a slutty pig do?’ he added, ‘I have one stuck on my cock!’

Tom felt a shiver run all the way from his toes to his head; he felt his lips quiver around the Sergeant’s cock.

Perkins unsheathed his truncheon; he held it in the moonlight and rubbed his hand all over it. He then touched the back of Tom’s neck with his truncheon, and slowly, slid it down between Tom’s shoulders, then lower down his back, smearing it into his own, still warm, and now starting to turn sticky cum; his truncheon rubbed Tom’s exposed back all the way, every inch, down to his ass; it found its way between Tom’s cheeks. Tom felt the incredibly hard, thick, big truncheon part his cheeks, then push against his hole. His hole could not take it; it tried to resist the officer’s truncheon; it clenched… But there was nothing Tom could do; the policeman’s truncheon insisted; it pushed against Tom’s hole, relentlessly, slowly imposing its strength onto Tom’s asshole and the whole of Tom’s body… Tom gave in; he relaxed: the policeman truncheon had won… It parted Tom’s lips, pushing them apart until they hurt; it rested, allowing Tom’s hole to adapt its the massive girth… Then, slowly, it forced its way inside Tom’s body, ripping his asshole apart; Tom felt himself being pushed against the Sergeant’s crotch by the big, hard truncheon penetrating his ass; he felt himself being used, powerless, like am object at the policemen’s disposal. The officer’s truncheon kept making its way into Tom’s ass, relentlessly, stretching it like it had never been stretched before… It went into him, deeper and deeper, till Tom felt the policeman’s truncheon had filled the whole of his body.

Perkins started using the truncheon like a handle, controlling Tom and pushing his face against the Sergeant’s cock, making him swallow the man’s big, stiff cock till he choked, then pulled him back, making him suck on the Sergeant’s shaft and kiss his helmet, then back into the Sergeant’s crotch, as he was now relaxing with his hand behind his head, just enjoying Tom being used as a toy to pump his manly cock; the Sergeant’s eyes were now closed, as if relaxing; Perkins kept ramming Tom’s body, using the big, hard truncheon nestled inside his ass to force Tom to suck on the Sergeant’s cock, then pulling him back, then pushing down again, sometimes pulling so far back that Tom could only hold onto the Sergeant’s cock by clasping his greedy lips around the base of the officer’s helmet; then felt himself being pushed forward, his ass being rammed deeply, while his throat filled with the Sergeant’s throbbing, bent, manly cock, till it forced its way to the back of Tom’s mouth and forced it to open to let the massive helmet slide down into his throat…

The officers started clapping their hands, rhythmically, as if they were at the circus: every time they clapped their hands, Tom felt himself being pushed against the Sergeant’s crotch and having to swallow it deep inside of him, then felt his ass being sucked back and his mouth sucking on the man’s throbbing cock.

The clapping became slowly faster, Perkins followed the officer’s clapping, making Tom suck on the Sergeant’s now spasmodic cock faster and faster, pushing it deeper and deeper, making it throb harder and harder then…

The Sergeant gave out a growl, like a beast out of control; Tom felt the officer’s cock swell inside his throat, jolt, jerk, push and tear inside of him and then explode with the Sergeant’s  huge, warm and sticky load inside his mouth.

Perkins held Tom in place, with the Sergeant’s cock still inside his mouth; it wasn’t getting any softer, only less insistent.

‘Let’s see if this insect has a flush,’ Perkins said.

‘Let’s see,’ the Sergeant joined in, ‘pull his face away from my cock and we will see if he lets any drop fall…’

The officers giggled, then they pretended to make a flushing sound, as if Tom was just a toilet; Perkins slowly pulled Tom’s face away from the Sergeant’s cock; Tom clasped his lips around the officer’s shaft, holding all his cum inside his mouth, following the dome of his helmet with his lips as it felt his mouth, and sealing the Sergeant’s jizz inside his mouth…

‘It does, the insect does have a flush!’ one of the officers joked, let’s hear it flush the Sergeant’s cum down its throat!

Tom swallowed the Sergeant’s cum slowly down his throat, making as much noise as possible to please the policemen.

A round of applause followed.

‘Look at the mess on the insect’s back,’ one of the officers pointed out, joking, ‘who’s going to clean it up now?’

‘Usual way?’ Other policemen suggested.

‘Usual way!’ all the policemen now said in unison.

Tom’s back was pushed down onto the floor of the van by a heavy boot; he felt the boot press against his back, and rub its sole onto his back, smearing Perkins’s cum over his skin and under the sole of the boot. Then, he felt the boot lift from his back; he thought it would be over. Instead, he heard the boot walk closer to his face, till he could see it big, black and shiny with cum in the moonlight in front of his eyes.

‘Clean it, insect!’ one of the officers ordered.

Tom stuck his tongue out of his mouth, reached the officer’s boot and started licking Perkins’s cum off the leather boot. As he was slurping the cum off the officer’s boot, he felt another press his back down, then smear the cum onto his skin and on the sole; as soon as one boot was clean, he heard another pacing towards his face, expecting to be cleaned.

Tom licked cum off the boots of all five officers, still impaled onto Perkins’s massive truncheon.

Then, he felt the truncheon move inside his ass; Perkins had taken hold of it, and was now forcing Tom onto his knees, lifting him up by his impaled ass.

As he looked up, Tom saw a raw of three policemen standing in front of him; he looked down on the floor, at their boots, which he had just cleaned with his tongue; he then felt a gloved hand grab his neck from behind and turn his face upwards: he stared ahead, while on his knees, and saw an unzipped fly and a stiff, thick, throbbing cock a few inches from his face: he felt the sole of a boot press against the back of his neck; he opened his mouth and felt the officer’s hard cock penetrate his mouth; he was pushed  against the officer’s crotch; he could feel his balls inside his pants rubbing on his chin; he felt his face being pushed forward, then pulled backwards, making him suck on the officer’s cock, pushed by the sole of the boot on the back of his neck to swallow the man’s cock, then pulled back by the gloved hand to suck it off. The cock kept coming into his mouth, then pulling away, filling his helpless throat, then rubbing against his swollen lips, rubbing against the walls of his mouth and pushing against his palate, sliding along his wet and warm tongue, then sliding down into his throat. The cock slid in, then pulled out, then pushed in again, then out… he felt the other officers’ cocks slapping on his head, rubbing against it, pushing onto his shaved skull, as his mouth was being pumped…

A load of hot, sticky cum exploded in his mouth; he felt the other officers’ cum drop onto his head, covering it, then slowly trickling down his face, closing his eyes, and covering his lips, as a long, protracted, loud moan filled the back of the van.

Sighs and pants followed for a few minutes, as Tom was kept on his knees with his eyes glued by the officers’ cum.

A round of applause suddenly broke the silence.

‘Well done, insect! You made our night!’ the officers shouted out all together.

Tom smiled; he felt proud.

He then felt his trousers being pulled up; he was led to the door, and made to step outside the van, onto the street.

He heard the van’s door slam, and Perkins shout, from the back of the van, ‘Hey, he’s got the wife’s truncheon!’ as the van sped away into the night.