Lucius is a lone werewolf who was disowned by his pack along time ago because he behaved completely differently
from the rest of the pack.Once when he was on a prowl, he heard a cry for help from a ten-year-old boy and decided he would help him, killing and eating his parents in the process. Ever since then, he and the boy, Jonathan, have been
But now, Jonathan is a grown man and Lucius is slowly falling in love with him. Will they overcome
all the obstacles that are in their way? Will Jonathan be able to accept Lucius as his lover, given the fact that they
are a different species and are both men–not to mention they are both like family to one another?
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A VERY HOT AND STEAMY BOOK M/M LOVERS, INTENDED FOR 18 AND OLDER.
When Lucius was nine hundred and seventy-five years old, his life could be said to be perfect. He was immortal, after all, and had borne witness to numerous critical events in the history of humans. That was a universal—albeit a bit of a stereotypical—hobby many werewolves enjoyed cultivating. While strictly trying not to get involved in the history of humans, for fear of changing it, they preferred observing it. Why would anyone want to get involved with their food, after all?
What the livestock represented to humans, humans, in turn, represented to werewolves. People took great pleasure in preparing their meals, which could be labeled as some sort of foreplay. Since consuming human flesh did not require any preparation of importance, what werewolves liked to call ‘preparation’ was choosing the most interesting of the specimens, and would befriend or seduce them, subsequently feeding off of their flesh for days.
Lucius was a young werewolf who did not have a particular type, as most of his fellow werewolves did. He chose his victims at random, and, given that he was not a picky eater, he seldom observed his victims, let alone seduced or befriended them. Lucius would usually lurk in the darkest corners of the city that he would be visiting at the time and assault his victims.
One of the perks he had been born with was his ability to digest food infected with HIV and other diseases, so he could afford to consume anyone he stumbled upon. Unfortunately, it was mandatory for the majority of werewolves to do a thorough check up on whoever they had picked to be their source of food, making of it, along the way, a game, a form of art.
A long time ago, before he was born, his kind had found it tasteless to behave like savages and hunt in their werewolf forms. By nature, they were immortal creatures, but blatantly attacking people in their wolf forms also meant they would be risking their lives as well. While they were very resilient, one would not necessarily survive being shot. So they had opted to be more obscure while hunting. They had begun hunting exclusively in their human form, turning into werewolves if absolutely necessary. As a result of such a decision, they had to develop other ways to lure their victims in, and as a means of achieving this, they had opted for eccentricity and mind games. Lucius was very proud to have been born in such a new society of cultivated werewolves, but, despite hunting in his human form as well, did not much like all the prelude before the main course.
The night was fresh and pleasant. It had just stopped raining, and the water particles in the air smelled of that type of quiet, barely tangible sadness and melancholy. However, the spring air, with the ever delightful cherry blossom fragrances, was quickly taking over, making a mixture of both sadness and happiness. It carried with itself that kind of an atmosphere, the atmosphere of anticipation, of something that was yet to come. Lucius was wandering the streets in his regular clothes—the sort that humans usually wore—a light beige wind jacket, jeans, and sneakers. He did not want to stand out and, to people like him, blending in usually helped better than standing out. His fellow werewolves were usually going for the shocking, intriguing effect. They liked to be theatrical, unique, in order to draw people to themselves. However, such a thing was not needed in Lucius’ case. Since he liked to hunt his prey down and devour them in several bites the first chance he got, anonymity worked in his favor.
The streets were unusually full, considering how much it had been raining for the past few hours, but he did not mind. It only meant he had a lot of people to choose from. There she was, soon enough, the type of women he preferred. Someone who liked to take the shortcuts, no matter how dark and potentially dangerous they could turn out to be, just to get home as fast as she could, after a long and stressful day at work—fat and slow on her feet, utterly defenseless. He immediately decided to follow her route, making himself known to her—a great tactic that should be used more, in his opinion—talking on the phone to his imaginary wife, thus dispelling all the worries of his victim.
And soon enough that was what he began doing, desperately trying to suppress his impatience, for his stomach began growling like a beast that had not been fed for an eternity.
“Hey, honey,” he began in an affectionate tone, “I’ll be kind of late. I’ve been held back at work … yes, Rodriguez again and his insisting on submitting the reports straight away … but I’m trying to arrive as soon as possible.” And his cheerful conversation went on and on, like a real one. The woman in front of him instinctively slowed her pace, her shoulders relaxing a bit. Lucius was watching her intently, never letting her out of his sight.
He sped up his pace, still cheerfully and enthusiastically talking to his ‘wife’ on the phone, licking his lips in delight, fangs now at their full length and ready to shred her to pieces. With this lady, he would be satiated for at least two weeks. But then he heard a shrill, desperate scream. A child’s scream, and then a gunshot. The child was still screaming, sobbing, begging for mercy even, and this scared his lady off. She was quick on her short, fat legs. To chase her would be lunacy, so Lucius had almost given up on everything, preparing himself to remain hungry for one more day.
But … why would he do that? Whoever scared his victim owed him a meal, being the responsible party that had deprived him of one. It was decided then: whoever was at fault had to pay and become a substitute for his original dinner candidate.
As an enhanced human being, or, rather, natural-born werewolf (his mother was human and his father a werewolf—a rare occurrence, with one tragic story of how, in the end, his father had devoured his mother after years of struggling not to do it), he possessed keen senses, so he was able to locate the source of the ruckus. The sound of the gunshot and the child’s desperate cries were coming from the direction of the building on the very corner of a street full of people. Sometimes Lucius wondered why humans paid little heed to those around them in distress. When he approached the entrance, he could still hear, loud and clear, the crying and begging, “Dad! Please! Don’t!” but the people on the street behaved as if nothing was happening at all. He shuddered in disgust and proceeded to where he was headed.
The scene he witnessed was horrible, even by his standards. In a rundown apartment lay a woman, shot in the chest, fighting for her last breath, as the man a few feet away from her was holding a kid at gunpoint. The child’s face was distorted in fear, being robbed of his childhood as he was beginning to grasp the concept of death and transience. His entire life, however short, was flashing in front of his eyes, Lucius could tell. But there was no cowardice in this little boy’s stature. He was afraid, yes, certainly, but his overall disposition showed a defiance and dignity most kids would likely never possess even in their adult years. The boy was proud and dignified.
Before the unmistakably drunk man could do anything to harm the child, Lucius approached him slowly – almost soundlessly – from behind, reaching out for his neck and breaking it in one swift motion. The boy stood there, flabbergasted and fascinated. The werewolf, still in his human form, just looked at him nonchalantly, saying, “Sorry, kid, but I have to do this. You might want to look away,” and with it, he began shifting into his wolf form.
The sight was horrifying, but fascinating at the same time. The boy, who had just lost both his parents, could not look away, completely mesmerized by what was happening in front of his very own eyes. Still in shock, the thought that he too might also be in danger did not cross his mind. The man before him was shifting into a full-scale wolf, who began devouring his father the instant he changed. A mere two minutes later, the only thing left of his father was a meticulous, white skeleton, as if it had never been encased in any meat whatsoever. Nothing remained, not even hair or eyes.
The werewolf looked at him, straightening up on his two legs in order to scare him, but the boy did little to move, still staring with his eyes wide open in fascination. “You can eat her too if you want to,” the boy said, “I wouldn’t feel sorry for a mother like that.” Lucius looked at him for a very long time, then took a look at the woman, who was already dead from her wound. “Go ahead, eat her. She’s dead anyway,” the kid said. Not even thinking about the consequences anymore, Lucius turned away and began consuming the woman, feeling like he would not need to eat for another three to four weeks. This news made him a little happy since he was not particularly fond of his urges or the taste of human meat. That was probably one of the reasons Lucius only attacked his victims, without playing with them first. If it was possible, he was admiring the boy even more than he previously had, for being too realistic for his age, and for enabling Lucius not to be a monster for at least a month.
When he was done, Lucius turned around to look at the boy, who was still standing there. Unable to speak in the form he was in at that moment, he began shifting back into the shape of a human being. Being a half human meant this would go much easier for him. His pure-blooded peers had some difficulty changing back into people because the wolf part of their genome was dominant. In his case, it was almost equally distributed. When he was done with shifting, he was a naked man, his original clothes torn and discarded somewhere in the room.
“Could you bring me some of your old man’s clothes and one plastic bag,” he asked bluntly, not being in the mood to care much about the feelings of a child who had just lost everything. The boy only nodded and moments later returned with the items Lucius had required. “I dig you, kid,” he told him when he finished changing, “and because of that, I won’t eat you.”
“You never intended to, anyway,” the boy replied. “You wouldn’t have told me to look away otherwise. Anyway … thank you for setting me free.”
“What do you mean, setting you free? I just ate your parents! Aren’t you scared?” the boy shook his head.
“They beat me up on a daily basis, so I never really felt attached,” was the boy’s simple reply. Too mature for his age, Lucius thought. He liked the way his new acquaintance was speaking: so young, yet so smart.
“What’s your name, kid? And how old are you?” he inquired.
“Jonathan. I’m ten.”
“Well, pleased to meet you, Jonathan. I’m Lucius, though I doubt that will be of any importance to you,” he was about to leave, “so good luck.”
Little did Lucius know he would get attached to Jonathan to the point that he was stalking him. In order to do that, he had to find a regular job and rent an apartment. Had he not been disowned by his family and his pack, Lucius would have been able to afford all of this without having to find a job. As part of his stalking, he would scout the entire area and discover all the foster families Jonathan was living with at any given point in time. Lucius had been following him for a year, without the boy knowing it. But there came a day when Jonathan did discover it, and when he did, and when he learned to what extent Lucius had gone to be able to see him, he called him his pet. Lucius would have been satisfied with ‘guardian angel’, but ‘pet’ would have to suffice, he presumed. Lucius was now Jonathan’s ‘wolf cub’, as the boy liked to call him.
The years were passing in such fashion, relentlessly. And so, Jonathan was now fourteen years of age, finally settled with the right kind of foster family. These people were considering adopting him as their son and were just beginning the process. The couple had a tradition of raising kids and setting them on the right road and had done so for more than twenty years. Now in their late sixties, Jonathan was the last one they decided to raise as their own, with one difference, though. He was to become their son, legally. Originally, they had not planned on adopting anyone, but knowing they would not have their own children, they wanted to have one, albeit only on paper.
Jonathan had introduced Lucius to them, and the couple got to like him almost immediately. He was tall, charming, dark-haired, with piercing, cold blue eyes, whose rims were of the golden nuance. Very intriguing and beautiful. His voice was deep but melodic as if it belonged to a news anchor. His features were sharp but handsome, complemented by full lips, perpetually curved into a slight smirk. If only they knew the amusing fact—that the yellow on the edges of his irises would completely fill them once he turned into a werewolf. Of course, they did not know this little secret of theirs.
The two shared a very close bond, akin to those of brothers, and Jonathan much appreciated Lucius’ company, his advice, and his fooling around. With him, he got to taste alcohol and weed at a young age, but the werewolf would always make sure he did not overdo it. Lucius was taking good care of him, and the teen was always having a lot of fun.
As for Lucius, he believed that, even though he would not devour this young man, he would very much like to turn him into one of their own. So once the couple Jonathan was with died (that was inevitable at some point), Lucius would get to have his own family and a huge one. If he succeeded in turning Jonathan into a werewolf, perhaps his family would forgive him for not turning out to be up to their expectations. Having another added into the family, one of such a brilliant mind and beauty, would probably earn him back his place in his native pack. So both of them would turn out to be winners in the end—both of them becoming a real family, and belonging to one as well.
Being a teenager was definitely a challenge. Taking care of one was even harder. For a person who was antisocial and who barely communicated with people his own age (if only in appearance), being friends with a teenager equaled disaster. How was he supposed to explain to Jonathan about sex, falling in love, or any other ‘adult’ concept? Was it not the duty of his foster parents to do so? But still, he felt glad that he had been chosen to answer all the questions his little human companion was having.
As the years passed, girlfriends had been in and out of Jonathan’s life. Nothing out of the ordinary was happening. He was becoming taller, stronger, but effeminately beautiful. His grades were good, and everything was fine in the life of this young person. But at some point when he was sixteen, he and Lucius had made a deal called ‘Dexter’s Method,’ in which Lucius would devour only child abusers. Jonathan would locate them and though a lot of thorough checkups determine the child abuser’s identity. Then he would give the address to Lucius, and soon enough, the child abusers all over the state began disappearing without a trace whatsoever. The fact that Lucius was not a registered citizen helped a lot, and his mutated DNA, together with the lack of fingerprints, helped out a lot with his serial killings. He was getting rid of the vermin of this world and was getting fed in return. The entire cosmos seemed to resonate the way the two men wanted them to, until Jonathan’s adulthood.
Jonathan grew up to be a man of remarkable features and a good college student. Everything indicated that he would become a splendid young man when he finally graduated. A bright future seemed to be in front of him, and Lucius was glad. But there was one problem with it all, however. Aside from becoming a beautiful man, he was also a wonderful person. He had a moral code he was following strictly, for better or for worse of the ones around him. He was of such a sound mind, Lucius could love him unconditionally just for that, and it was getting serious.
With dreamy, lustful eyes, did Lucius follow Jonathan’s every step; with keen ears he would listen to his every word, wishing to become something more than a mere wolf cub to this man. It was time he became the real wolf, both friend and lover. Lucius wanted to devour him in different ways, out of sexual hunger, out of hunger for his intelligence. He had debated for a long time what to do with it all. He feared, naturally, that he would lose this exceptional person, but after an agonizing struggle with himself, he decided to profess his love for Jonathan and ask him out.
The task at hand was not easy at all. First, Lucius rarely indulged in any kind of sexual activity at all. He might pass as someone who did not care about other people’s opinions, but being expelled from his pack was something that made him deeply depressed. From day to day, Lucius had lived only to survive, doing odd jobs in order to pay the rent, attacking once a week, or twice if he deemed it safe enough. Having Jonathan around meant he had to settle in one town, and that was drastically changing things. Lucius was not able to find a regular job because he was not a registered citizen, and getting false papers for himself required a lot of trouble and risk. He was not prepared to risk his anonymity, not for anyone, not even Jonathan. That obscurity was like a safety blanket for him, like a protective cocoon that separated him and the real world. So, being focused only on survival for so many years, and then being focused both on that and on Jonathan, had rendered him without a sexual or romantic partner.
Being of nomadic nature meant that he would not normally get a romantic partner, even had he decided to do that. But now that things were settling, Lucius felt he was beginning to gain some normalcy in life. Jonathan understood him perfectly—his need to hunt—and had suggested the best thing possible, a method that could benefit both humanity and Lucius. He had suggested it in such a confident, cold tone, that for a moment, Lucius thought Jonathan was a psychopath or a sociopath. But the youth seemed to be perfectly fine, empathetic even. Since Lucius had the impeccable instinct of an animal at his disposal, he was able to tell those things. Being accepted so freely and without any judgment whatsoever, and by a person who had let him eat his entire family, meant the world to Lucius. Being able to find someone capable of such things was a rare, if not impossible thing to find.
The only struggle now was how to approach Jonathan, regarding his love interest in him. It appeared the werewolf had been feeling that different kind of affection for a very long time, without being aware of it himself. Upon discovering what it was, he was in denial at first. It was maddening and unbelievable. Not so much because Jonathan was a man (Lucius’ culture embraced all sexualities equally), but because he had always thought of the boy as a part of his family, something along the lines of his younger brother. Later on, after so much struggle and so many restless nights, he decided he would acknowledge his feelings, for better or for worse. Lucius had noticed that he was acting strangely around his little brother and that this awkwardness would only cause misunderstandings and damage the relationship. So now, Lucius was preparing dinner (he could handle eating human food if necessary, and in minuscule amounts), anxious to make his feelings known to the person he cared about most.
The evening was pleasant. The entire day had been perfect so far. He had awoken refreshed to an incredible amber-colored morning sun, stretching in his bed. The whole city was waking up slowly, and nothing threatened to spoil his routine. He got up, took a shower, got dressed, and went grocery shopping. He didn’t know much about cooking, except for fundamental things he needed when food was not available (recklessness was never a good thing, and if he deemed it was too dangerous for him to hunt someone down, Lucius would resort to eating steak instead if he could afford it). For this evening’s meal, he decided on some bacon sandwiches he had seen Gordon Ramsey prepare on YouTube.
The afternoon was even warmer. He was watching the video over and over again, to make sure he understood the entire process correctly. It had to be perfect. Simple, but perfect. After that, when the evening was within sight, he began preparations for dinner. Since it was an easy dish to prepare, he made it without a mistake—yet another instance of how the day was going in a great direction so far. After that, he went to take a quick shower to rinse off the smell of frying. He tidied his small, cramped apartment, set the table, and was now nervously expecting Jonathan to come ringing any moment now. The day had gone perfectly so far, and he wished for it to continue in the same fashion.
There were many worries on his mind; for instance, if he was overdressed, and if he would be able to act naturally and not like he was trying too hard. But upon seeing Jonathan at his doorstep, all those worries melted away almost instantaneously.
“Hey, man,” the younger man spread his lips in a genuine smile, patting him on the shoulder. Lucius’ thoughts began swirling erratically around the casualness of such a greeting, which was close enough for a friend, but not where he wanted it. He started thinking about whether Jonathan would even be open to the idea of thinking of him in a romantic or sexual way.
“What’s up, kiddo,” he greeted him back. “Come on in.”
Jonathan took his shoes off and entered the impossibly cramped but unusually neat apartment. “Whoa, what happened here? You found a woman or something?” Jonathan commented, upon seeing how neat it was.
“First of all, that came off as a bit sexist, but to answer your question, no. This is all my doing,” he smiled, his palms pressed against each other.
“It’s still pretty weird, though. The last time I was here, it seemed like a war zone,” Jonathan remarked and sat on a loveseat in front of the TV, turning it on. Lucius sat in an armchair on his left side. “So, what did you have in mind for tonight?” Jonathan asked.
“I wanted you to try my cooking because I believe it would be your first time.”
“No way! I know you cook sometimes, but … is it actually edible?” Jonathan joked.
“Actually, I took a detour after work and killed two pretty ladies especially for this occasion,” Lucius continued in the same fashion. They spent the next several minutes in such an exchange before they decided they’d rather eat the sandwiches in front of the TV than at the table. They were sandwiches, after all, nothing extravagant or extraordinary. This did occur to Lucius, but still stung him a little. On the other hand, being relaxed and less formal could actually help him, he mused. Both of them need to be relaxed in order to make his confession pass as smoothly as possible.
“So, anything happening at the university?”
“Nothing, really,” Jonathan replied. “Same old, same old. Some of the lectures are interesting; some are boring. That kind of thing.”
“What about a girl? Found one yet?”
“Frankly, I don’t have the time to think about that. I have so many papers to write that I don’t have the time even for a fling.”
“Such a rarity, that you can’t multitask.”
“When you are in your third year of college, you get a lot busy, and even though my sex drive is at its highest, I have to settle for an occasional vigorous jackoff session,” Jonathan admitted. They had always talked like this, being blatant about everything. But this time, Lucius did not find it humorous but arousing instead. His entire body shivered at the thought, as his member began filling with blood. Imagining Jonathan vigorously masturbating was something he had not been counting on that evening, and he was desperately trying to suppress the image, so as not to embarrass himself. “What about you?” Jonathan asked.
“Ah …” he paused for a second, needing to collect himself. “I jack off too. But I think I have found someone I’d like to be with.”
“Speaking of which, I kind of never saw you with anyone, or heard that you had anyone.”
“That’s because there was no one.”
“All these years?” Jonathan raised his eyebrows in surprise; secretly he had thought that Lucius just did not feel as comfortable talking with him so intimately about things rather than being celibate. He would rather settle for that than to imagine an almost thousand years old werewolf never getting laid.
“Well, it’s true,” Lucius admitted, a bit embarrassed.
“Wow, dude. I could never pull something like that off. In human years, of course,” Jonathan chuckled, and that chuckle resonated in the werewolf’s heart.
“I can imagine, you horny bastard!” he joked.
“So tell me … what was it like? When you did get laid?”
“To be frank,” Lucius sighed, “I don’t even remember. It was so long ago. It’s really hard to remember.”
“So you must be desperate for it, right?”
“Not really, no,” Lucius replied, “Because our bodies are not the same as yours. These processes take a long time since we live indefinitely.”
“Ah … I see … but what about the person you like? Would you like to do it with them?”
“Of course, I would. That’s part of the point of being in love with someone.”
“Well … I suppose. So … what’s she like?”
Lucius didn’t know how to reply. The moment had finally come, and he was not able to speak at all. Should he lie? Should he tell the truth? Should he go about it in a roundabout way, or should he say it directly? Many decisions were lying before him, and he did not know what to do. In a way, this seemed to be a critical moment in his life, something that would decide whether he would lose yet another person he cared about.
“Oh, well … S-she … she … is a good person. Very smart and beautiful,” he began, emphasizing it was a woman, struggling with both his body and mind to say the pronoun out loud. Jonathan was looking at him with evident curiosity, already assuming it was not a woman at all.
“You’re in love with a dude, aren’t you?” he asked directly. “Don’t worry; you can tell me. It’s not like I’m gonna be angry about it or anything. We’re family,” he reassured the werewolf.
“Well, the reason I asked you to come is to tell you I’m gay. I kinda wanted to get that off of my chest,” Lucius made a last moment decision not to tell Jonathan anything, opting to go with what Jonathan had already inferred.
“Cool, bro. I’m glad you think you can confide in me,” Jonathan merely said, taking a bite of his sandwich and turning toward the TV to continue watching the game that was on. Jonathan was of the belief that he should act like it was not a big deal, worrying that he might hurt Lucius if he asked questions because he was curious about who his brother liked. Who was that person that was finally going to break his abstinence? But Jonathan decided to postpone asking questions until he was sure asking them would not be offensive to his wolf cub.
And so the night progressed without anything happening at all. Lucius sent his protégé, already a grown man, home, and he held off his confession for another two years.
“Would you tell him already?” Darius asked. He was one of the rare werewolf friends Lucius had. Darius was not from his pack, but was still one of his kind, and that bond appealed to Lucius very much, contributing to his not feeling as alone as he used to. Half a year ago, Lucius had been preying on the same person Darius had, and they attacked the poor man almost simultaneously. But Darius had been a good lad, and very friendly, so he decided to share his meal with the starved Lucius. Ever since then, they had seen each other very often, bonding over common things all werewolves shared, and also other things they liked, such was books, movies, and men.
“What was that, out of the blue?” Lucius asked, extending his hand to the bowl of popcorn Darius was keeping in his lap. They were watching a movie marathon, and all the movies featured werewolves.
“Nothing, just wondering when you’re gonna do it. He won’t live forever, you know, so you should do something about it before it is too late is all I’m saying.”
“Come on, he’s only twenty-five.”
“He’ll turn fifty before you even know it. He’s gonna have a family is what I meant to say. Better do something about it before it gets too late.”
“You know I can’t do that. I’ll lose him for good.”
“Well, you’ll never know until you try it. You know what they say, he who dares, wins,” Darius encouraged him. “Better do it before he settles for real, with someone.”
“You might have a point,” Lucius admitted. “I guess I’ll never know if I postpone it all the time.”
“So I want you to call him tomorrow and set a date. Just like you said you had done before. But go to the very end this time.” And that was what Lucius intended to do.
The date was set soon after that, and yet again, he was a nervous wreck like he had been two years ago. But this time, he was more determined. He would see this through to the end. There was no other way for him. He had to do it. Otherwise, he’d never try it again.
Jonathan was sitting comfortably on his love seat, just like two years ago. Everything seemed a bit similar. They began with the usual small talk; Lucius sat in his usual place, trying to be as relaxed as could. But then, when they ran out of things to talk about, it was high time he finally said what was on his mind.
“Jonathan … are you currently seeing someone?”
“Not at the moment, no. Why? Do you have someone in mind?”
“Actually,” he began solemnly, “there is someone who has been in love with you for a very long time now … and … it’s me, actually. And before you say anything, no, it’s not a joke. You are the guy I was telling you about a couple of years ago, and I still feel the same way,” although, with Darius around, who had always been pushy, he had slept with several people. “Well, that hasn’t changed. What I’m trying to say is I love you, I guess. And not in a bro way …”
“Okay, okay, I get it,” Jonathan interrupted him, nervousness and disbelief evident in his voice. “But what do you expect me to do about it?”
“I don’t want to lose you, really, I don’t. I don’t want to chase you away by telling you this. I just … couldn’t keep it inside anymore. I had to tell you. It has been eating away at me, and …” he was rambling.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, just stop talking please,” Jonathan said, standing up. “I’ll think about it, okay. I need some time to process all of this.”
“Okay …” Lucius said, lowering his head. It was a bit strange seeing him like this, completely devoid of any self-confidence. To have a werewolf at his feet was undoubtedly flattering, but Jonathan simply could not wrap his mind around such a concept. He had to go and cool his head, before saying anything offensive. That was the case with him. He did not care much about other people’s emotions, but when it came to Lucius, that was another story altogether. To be disrespectful and hateful toward the man who had saved him, and who had continued to fight for their cause and eradicate all those people who harmed other innocent children, and most importantly, who had remained loyal and kind to him throughout all those years, he could not do that.
“See you in a few days, then,” he muttered, before leaving.
The days seemed like years to Lucius. His time was already flowing slowly, but this was excruciating. But that, too, was nearing its end because, after several days, as promised, Jonathan came to give him his response.
“Listen … to tell you right away, I don’t have such feelings for you. I see you like a bro. And it’s weird for me to have a thing for another man. I know it might come naturally to you but to me, it isn’t. I’ve never thought of anyone of the same gender in that way, and I don’t think I ever will. But despite everything, nothing changes between us. I will try to make things less awkward, and you can tell me what to do to achieve that. I know things might not be the same as they used to be, but I hope we can at least maintain some level of normalcy.” It was a practiced speech; it had taken the human an entire night of not sleeping to get to something like this, which he deemed appropriate.
Lucius nodded in response, but added, “I understand. I will do my best then, not to cause you any inconveniences …” he scratched the back of his head in discomfort and embarrassment.
“Just so you know, I don’t want us to become estranged. We’ll figure something out.”
“I wish I could say that, but I can’t,” the werewolf was being honest. “But I’m willing to give it a try and see where all this will lead us.”
“Alright. I guess only time will tell us what’s gonna happen …” they lingered like this for a while, before Jonathan lifted his head again, looking him in the eyes. “I won’t treat you any differently, you know. You are the same as before, and I love you all the same.”
Lucius nodded his head in defeat. “If we could call it a night, please. I need some time alone,” he continued with their practice of being honest, and Jonathan left.
To say this confession had burdened their friendship would be an understatement. It had rendered it impossible. Neither wanted the other to get hurt, so they decided to pretend as if nothing had happened. However, after a while, the time they spent together could only be labeled as awkward, so they decided they should stop seeing each other altogether, at least for a while. It had been a tacit agreement they both adhered to. Since then the days seemed a lot emptier than before. All the things the two men shared felt like sharp shards of glass piercing through their hearts.
Jonathan could still behave as if nothing had happened, but he was aware of the fact that it would not be the same for Lucius. For a reserved man that could pull anything off, for such was Lucius, this had been a hard blow. He had made himself vulnerable and revealed everything that he was feeling for his young friend, and Jonathan completely understood the situation. To be able to have a werewolf so interested in you could make one think they had power over the wolf, but Jonathan was not that stupid. He knew for a fact that self-preservation was something the werewolves valued above all else.
Jonathan could only imagine what Lucius was going through, and could do little to alleviate his pain. He had invested so much in him over the years. The werewolf was almost like his parent or a brother, at least, taking care of him and helping him go through difficult times. Lucius had saved him from abusive parents, permanently removing the threat. He had helped him go through all the hardships he had faced in the foster homes he was living in; he had helped him find the one family that was normal (although they were a bit on the older side), and have a normal life, as much as that was possible.
Lucius had done all that, when he could have just eaten him then and there, together with his parents. He could have left him there to starve and fend for himself, and Jonathan was pretty sure he would not have been able to survive on his own at that point, at the age of ten. He did not know what Lucius had found in him that was worthy of his attention and care, but he appreciated it very much, and the fact they could no longer be friends felt like his heart was being torn from his chest, many times over. It equaled a loss on a scale as though somebody had died.
The same feeling haunted the thousand years old werewolf. He was spending his time trying to forget about the entire ordeal, in order for Jonathan to get back into his life. He had let Darius lead the way, and his fellow werewolf was one of the lewdest people he had ever known. They would spend days working hard labor, or distributing drugs, or doing anything that could earn them money as long as they did not need to provide documents. During weekends, it was all orgy. Darius was a player, and he was able to bring many enticing bodies to drown their loneliness. Men, women, of both kinds, it did not matter. Lucius had once had sex with a male vampire. They had been joking who was going to turn whom into what, and wondered what the combination of a vampire and a werewolf would be.
“I guess that would be a good thing: if you’re up for a light snack, you just draw some blood, and when you really want to be a glutton, you go for devouring,” Lucius had concluded.
“Or you could do both,” the vampire had suggested, “suck them dry and then eat them.”
“A cadaver without blood isn’t much of a meal,” the werewolf had explained, and so the two of them spent that one night talking about how they would combine werewolf and vampire cuisine. It had been rather funny and entertaining, but the two men decided never to see each other again. It had not been the case that they did not like each other. On the contrary, they could have become good friends, but the non-human races preferred to steer clear of each other.
But nevertheless, although such encounters were enough to keep him going, he was still feeling empty without his best friend. His feelings for Jonathan were complicated, to say the least. He considered him a family member, almost blood related, but he also had romantic feelings for him. He was not confused by them but rather annoyed, and now that he had acknowledged them and made them known, he became resentful toward them. They had brought him nothing but misery, and no amount of bodies could help him overcome it.
“I think you should assert yourself more,” Darius once said. “You are clearly unhappy with how things are developing, or, should I say, how they are stagnating.”
“And do what? Put even more distance between us than we have now?” Lucius was frustrated.
“I know, buddy, but torturing yourself like this won’t lead you anywhere.”
“I know,” the younger werewolf sighed, putting his elbows on his thighs, supporting his head with his hands, “one would think that when you are a millennium old, you’d know things … but I guess you just stay dumb as ever.”
“Maybe you should start looking for somebody else,” Darius suggested. “I can set you up with people if you want to.”
“Very well, then,” Lucius replied, “It’s not that I really want to, but I guess there’s nothing else left for me to do but to try moving on …”
Lucius was helped in his search when he learned that Jonathan had begun dating a woman ten years older than him. They had been dating for the past six months, and that meant that he was in one of his longest relationships. That relationship did not necessarily need to be meaningful but still, one could never be careful enough. At first, he sprang into a rage, going on reckless nightly prowls, killing innocent people. Darius had to make sure to clean up after him and was trying to reason with him on more than one occasion.
“You can’t go berserk like that out of the blue, for a petty thing like that!” he reprimanded him.
“Petty! To me, it’s vital, and you know it!”
“You need to be humane, at least a bit. We’re hunting because we are hungry. End of story. Not because we are angry. You can’t deprive someone of their life just because you didn’t like how a barista looked at you this morning. You can’t allow yourself to be that frivolous,” Darius elaborated, patting him on the shoulder.
“I … I guess you’re right,” Lucius admitted. “I’d better calm down and stop binge eating.”
“My point exactly! I’m gonna set up an orgy, so if you want to come, you’re free to do so,” he said cheerfully.
“Darius, buddy, I don’t think a person can meet someone at an orgy and start a relationship with them. Nobody’s there to look for a relationship.”
“You never know,” Darius winked at him impishly, “you never know.”
The room was crammed full of people. They were the most beautiful people Lucius had ever seen, which meant they were not of human nature. They were either vampires or werewolves. Bear shifters rarely attended. Bear shifters were mostly of the sturdier variety, and were for a one-on-one confrontation, rather than participating in a larger event, whereas vampires and werewolves were more on the refined side of the spectrum of bodies. Vampires were mostly androgynous, whereas werewolves could be androgynous, manly, or effeminate.
That night’s party hosted only male werewolves (a deliberate plotting on Darius’ side, he thought to himself), all of which were effeminate-looking, just like Jonathan. “Ingenious,” he muttered to himself as he entered the room.
The interior of the room had been inspired by Stanley Kubrick’s ‘Eyes Wide Shut’, with one exception: the participants were not hiding under the masks. The richly ornamented divans were scattered all over the place; the wallpaper was of golden-white colors with intricate patterns, and heavy, golden curtains on the tall windows complemented them. Lucius knew that Darius was wealthy, but how much exactly, he could not fathom.
He was aware that his friend was not disowned as he was and that his pack supported the way he was living his life. Darius was somewhere between himself and the family values werewolves upheld most of the time; he was sometimes feeding on people because he had to, without playing with his victims, but sometimes Darius would devote days to seducing one person, and then he would spend days devouring that one person, piece by piece. Darius was a hedonist, who was never short of anything. He was beautiful, with his long dirty blond hair, tanned skin and prominent, but not ugly, muscles. If he wanted to, he could become a model, and become famous and renowned in a matter of hours.
Lucius took a white wine from the tray of one of the beautiful, human sex slaves, wandering around the room and observing that while the party had barely begun, there were naked bodies entwined everywhere already.
He was scanning the room in search of Darius, his second best friend and guide. Lucius was feeling lucky to have found such support from a person, especially because they were of the same kind. Lucius felt reconnected with his kind and for that, he felt immensely grateful to Darius. But despite his friend’s truly precious and much-appreciated support, he highly doubted he would find anyone for a relationship, no matter how short it would turn out to be. It was an orgy, after all.
He couldn’t find Darius anywhere. That man had a habit of entangling himself in so many bodies all at once that even a five-way seemed tame compared to that. Lucius would usually engage in sexual activities with one or two people, rarely three.
In the beginning, he could not get enough of sex, given how many centuries he had spent in abstinence. No matter how many times he had emptied himself into other bodies, it was not enough. He would go through a delirious state of endless pleasure over and over again, and, instead of his body being sated by it, he only craved more. He could not get enough of smooth bodies, lush curves of various hips, ample bosoms in females, and firm, round buttocks, perfect abs, and broad shoulders in males. He had been drowning in them at first, blind to all else, and able to forget about his feelings for Jonathan, if only for that brief moment.
These days, however, having had sex hundreds of times already, he regarded it as a regular occurrence, and he felt he had caught up with what people would call a healthy sex drive. So seeing all these naked bodies piled up surely did leave an impression, but not as much as before.
A man in his early twenties, slightly shorter than Lucius and wonderfully androgynous, approached him after several minutes, striking up a casual conversation.
“To be honest, I don’t feel like hooking up right now,” Lucius said, “I just came here to do a favor for a friend of mine.”
“That’s okay,” the young one said, “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I already had some before you came here, so I’m good.”
“Why did you approach me, then?” Lucius inquired amicably, curious.
“Well, you sure are an attractive specimen, after all,” the youth said. “I’m Dorian. What’s your name?” he extended his slender arm, and firmly shook Lucius’ hand.
“Lucius. Pleased to meet you, Dorian,” Lucius said, smiling. This man looked nothing like Jonathan, but he was not looking for a partner anyway. The very thought that he could gain another werewolf friend made his gut clench in anticipation and happiness.
“Just give me a moment to dress, and we’ll go out in a moment,” said Dorian. Lucius nodded and took another sip of wine.
If somebody had told him he would meet such a pleasant and remarkable person while attending an orgy, he would deem them insane. They first visited a bakery, buying the various kinds of bagels it offered, comparing tastes and discussing them. Then they bought some cheap beer and hung out on the playground of a nearby apartment complex, sitting on swings and getting drunk. Laughter was echoing throughout the cold night air, high above them, as they talked about their interests and cracked jokes. It felt refreshing, being with such a person, that even eating human food seemed delicious.
After a few of these late night outings, they began dating. Darius felt proud of his idea being successful, whereas Lucius repeatedly tried to explain to him that his plan could have failed as well and that all of it had only been a coincidence.
But what this relationship represented, on a bigger scale, was that Lucius could try reconnecting with Jonathan. Given the fact that both of them had partners now meant less awkwardness, and he was hoping from the bottom of his heart that he would be able to look Jonathan in the eye.
Jonathan sighed in relief upon hearing from Lucius. At last, he thought, I will be able to have my friend back! He was feeling cheerful that day, so much better than before. He was not one to believe things would go smoothly, though. He never forgot the nature of Lucius’ feelings for him and, despite their presence or absence when they met again, it would still feel strange for a while. But he did not mind, as long as it got to approximately how it was before. He was wondering what kind of a person Dorian was. Darius had spoken to him about Lucius’ new partner over the phone on several occasions, and he seemed overzealous, almost as if he wanted Jonathan to get jealous. But the human knew better. He had already gotten used to Darius’ antics. He had to, because of Lucius. But he did not like him much.
It was decided they would meet in a form of a double date, and that decision seemed perfectly sound in Jonathan’s opinion. Their respective partners would be there, decreasing the awkwardness by not letting them be alone together. Neither partner knew of Lucius’ confession, nor would they be told, and that served as a good incentive to hide the fact that something had happened between the two of them in the past.
Joanna, his girlfriend, was ten years older than him and employed as a professor specializing in the works of John Donne; he was her assistant. Romance at the workplace, very unpopular, but she was smart, mature, and pretty. She was interested in soccer, which he occasionally liked to watch, and was a big Star Wars fan, which was another plus on the list of pros when it came to her. Up until now, they had been leading a peaceful life. It had only been six months, but seeing as they worked together, they had decided about a month into the relationship to move in together. His parents did not like the idea, however. Getting into something as serious as that meant marriage, in their opinion, and he was not ready for that. To an extent, they were in the right, but she served as a perfect distraction from his separation from Lucius. He was well aware of the fact that a lot of things were at stake, seeing as they were living together and she was his superior. If things were to go wrong, he could end up being both homeless and unemployed. But somehow he counted on the good-natured personality of this woman.
It was not that he did not love her. He liked her enough to sleep with her and to share his living space with her, but he had never experienced anything like the ‘honeymoon period’ everybody was talking about constantly. Still, it was a nice relationship going at its own pace, and he was content.
“I can’t wait to meet your friend,” Joanna said, as she was putting on her small diamond earrings; they had cost him a small fortune, but he hadn’t known what else to buy her. He never knew anything special she might like, so he had opted for the most generic thing he could muster (not as generic as flowers, though, so he counted this a success). He liked the fact that she had decided to wear the jewelry he had bought her.
“I’m sure you’re gonna love him. He’s a charming bastard,” Jonathan said with a smile. “He’s basically like family to me.”
“But why did you lose contact with him all of a sudden? Why am I meeting him just now?” she inquired.
“Oh …” Jonathan was at a loss for words for a second, before remembering that telling a lie which also contained a small portion of truth could actually save him a lot of trouble. “We got into a minor dispute … okay, a big one. Over his sexual preference. He’s gay, as I told you, and I couldn’t seem to accept it, but we resolved it in the end.”
Joanna was a well-bred woman, so she didn’t say anything, but the truth was, she was a massive homophobe; this evening was, to her, one of the ordeals she had to go through to prove her love and devotion. It was not so much love than the fact that she was thirty-five and was feeling her biological clock ticking louder and louder as the years passed. Jonathan had only been a convenience to her. He was beautiful, smart, and not too assertive. A perfect man for her. She had put the earrings on just to please him, in case she blurted out something she should not have. In truth, she despised his lack of imagination when buying the gift.
It was nine o’clock, and they were on time. The restaurant was not too classy, but not too casual, so they had dressed accordingly. The maître d’ assigned them their table and offered them an aperitif while they waited for their friends. Soon after, Lucius came with Dorian in tow, and the couple stood up to greet them.
Jonathan opened his arms, accepting Lucius in a warm, firm embrace. “Nice to see you, man,” he said with emotion in his voice, before releasing him. Lucius regretted the fleetingness of the touch.
“Me too. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” he replied, before turning around and gesturing to Dorian to approach. “This is my partner, Dorian.” The men exchanged greetings among themselves, and then they greeted Joanna.
Jonathan noticed that Lucius’ lover was indeed a beautiful man, with long, blond hair, and a slender body, quite effeminate, but with an air of suppressed masculinity nevertheless. Throughout the evening, he was polite, witty, and he had quite a few intelligent discussions with them. It appeared that Lucius was indeed happy with him. They never exchanged public displays of affection while attending dinner, but the way they were talking to each other, the way they were behaving around each other in general, indicated their bond was strong indeed.
And there Jonathan was, with the woman he did not love at all. He could not feel that level of chemistry with Joanna. She rarely talked, and her smiles were forced. She was only giving polite replies, never concentrating on the flow of the conversation, but rather looking around, or being on her phone, or, generally being disinterested and disengaged. Lucius, the good soul that he was, was trying desperately to be kind to her and include her in their discussions, but to no avail. By the end of the evening, Jonathan was enraged. It was not that she could not get along with Lucius and Dorian, but she had deliberately chosen not to.
After the dinner, Lucius took Jonathan aside, to do a small, private catch-up. “How’s Mom and Dad?” Lucius asked. He had not visited them at all, wanting to sever all ties to Jonathan, so as not to cause any inconvenience to him.
“They’re good but old,” Jonathan answered. “But … to be completely honest with you … Ma’s not feeling all that well. You see … she’s got cancer. They say she won’t live for much longer. I’m planning on taking a paid leave, or an unpaid one, doesn’t matter, to be with her and help out as much as I can,” he lowered his head. The atmosphere suddenly became dark and cumbersome.
“What!” Lucius was shaking his head in denial, “You must be joking! You’re joking, right?” It was as if a million needles had stabbed him in the heart. “What about Dad?”
“He’s crushed. That’s why it means the world to me that you and I can finally get together like we used to. Any support is welcome now,” his eyes were tearing up, but, adamantly as always, he refused to let them fall. Such was he, proud and brave even in the direst of moments, and Lucius loved him for it. He put the hands on his shoulders, making him look up.
“I’m gonna be there for you, buddy. You know that without me having to tell you,” Jonathan put his left hand on top of his right one, which was resting on the human’s shoulder. “I’ll be there for you, as always.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do much for you, Luc,” he whispered.
“Don’t think about it. It doesn’t matter. You’re doing enough already.”
Nobody thought the dinner would end up being the turning point for the group. After a restless night full of thinking, Jonathan decided to break up with Joanna, and he did it the following morning. She was begging him not to do it, but he had already decided. Joanna had behaved disrespectfully to a person who was vital to him, and in retrospect, he did not find any similarities with her or any other reason to be with her than pure convenience.
She had turned out to be fair, however. He still had his job, and, even though the things did not go in their favor, Joanna was very understanding. She even helped him get paid leave, however much he needed, in order to care for his sick adoptive mother. Perhaps that was the way in which she wanted to redeem herself for being dishonest and wasting both their time.
But she was not the only one who was helping out. There was also Dorian. He and Lucius had become stronger than ever, it seemed, after the dinner. It appeared that Lucius greatly confided in him, and he had told him all about Jonathan’s mother being ill, so he had decided to lend his hand in the matter as well. At first, Jonathan found it endearing and genuinely helpful, but somehow, as time passed, he began to find it rather annoying.
His parents had liked Dorian almost immediately, and they were surprisingly supportive of Lucius’ sexual preference. They had even warmed up to Darius, and now everybody was doing their best to juggle between jobs and help around the house and spend some time with Jonathan’s adoptive father, who was trying his best not to show his wife how afraid he was that their paths were slowly, but surely, parting.
Despite the overall grim atmosphere, Dorian was able to outshine all of it and was being very useful to the group. Of all of them, Mom liked him best. Soon, he began taking her to chemotherapy sessions, waiting for her to finish, and driving her back home. But at least, Jonathan thought, he could spend some more time alone with Lucius since the duo had not had the chance to do that much since they had begun to be friends once more.
“What do you think of Dorian?” Lucius asked once, as they were running some errands for the house. “I never got to ask you that.”
“He’s just like Dorian, you know. Wilde’s Dorian. All peachy and good. Everybody loves him and whatever he touches is gold,” Jonathan replied half-jokingly.
“But …? His soul is actually rotten from the inside, and he’s hiding a painting of himself in his attic, and it is ugly as fuck and is reflecting his soul?” Lucius asked, jesting in the same fashion.
“I’m just saying he’s just too bright for this kind of thing, and he’s getting kind of annoying. He’s spending more time with my own mother more than I do. I wish you could tell him to back off a little. I know he’s your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean he has to follow you everywhere and help me out all the time. Doesn’t he have some other business to attend to?”
This came off as a bit bitter, and Lucius did not expect that. He didn’t know that Jonathan was growing resentful toward Dorian; he had been behaving nicely toward him all along. Although this probably had nothing to do with jealousy, he could not help but be a bit glad.
“Whoa, whoa, wait a second!” he waved his hands in the air. “Where is this all coming from? You always seem so friendly all the time, why all of a sudden …”
“Well, how else am I supposed to treat him? He’s done nothing wrong! I know he only wants to help out, but that’s kind of my thing, and he’s kind of not a part of the family … Darius I can tolerate, he’s been around for too long, and he’s too pushy, but … I don’t know. I simply don’t like strangers poking their noses into my business too much is all.” Jonathan was hoping that Lucius would be able to understand what he was trying to say and that he would not get mad. He wondered whether complete honesty was still in effect in their friendship.
Even though this all had come as a huge surprise to the werewolf, he was more than willing to respect the wishes of his first love and his best friend. “Okay, I’ll talk to him if that will make you calmer.”
“I’d much appreciate it if you did, Luc,” Jonathan said, putting the last of the items in the cart. They were at the local supermarket now, shopping for groceries. “God,” he changed the subject, “I know this sounds completely wrong, but I haven’t had any time for myself recently … all of this is really not my cup of tea. I am aware that I sound ungrateful. They’re the best foster parents-turned-adoptive parents a person would wish for. And Ma’s, well … my Ma! I love her to bits, but watching her deteriorate like this … can’t she just stop with the therapies? She’s so old, and why can’t she just live out the rest of her life without doctors? It’s not like her body can handle the therapy anyway …” The despair and sadness could be felt in his voice. His entire face wore the sad expression of a powerless man.
“I know what you mean. To me, transience isn’t much of a deal, but it’s all the more painful,” Lucius said in all honesty, “because I get to see people I care about die, and I live on hundreds of years after that.”
“Has that happened to you a lot?”
“Well, no. You guys are the first ones I cared to strike up a friendship with, so this is the first time for me, but I have a feeling that it entails so many things.” Now he was getting sad, too. Ma was a wonderful human being and did not deserve to suffer like that. “Say, if you want to talk, you can always come over, or we can go out somewhere, to just have this alone time, and I’ll be happy to help you out any way I can.”
“Thanks, man, I’d really appreciate it,” said Jonathan, feeling contented by the fact that the two of them had returned to the way they had been before, albeit because of a somber, tragic reason.
And so, Ma passed away in peace. Both the doctors and Jonathan advised her to stop with the therapies, and she agreed, living another two months on morphine alone. But she was surrounded by good people and her husband, so she felt she could get through anything with them nearby.
Dorian and Jonathan had remained on decent terms, albeit visibly more distant than before. The young werewolf had been reasonable and understood the situation when Lucius explained to him that his help was not needed anymore, or as much as before. Yes, it was perfectly reasonable when he thought more about it. But the main reason he had been there in a first place was to be closer to Lucius, who had been with them almost all the time.
The funeral went smoothly. Not many people came, but it was important that those who cared about Ma were able to come. After that, they all went to a restaurant to talk and reminisce about the delightful old lady. It was mostly Jonathan who was talking about her, being grateful for everything she had done for him. The scene was pretty emotional, and Dorian was now able to grasp the full picture of how it had all begun (the version that was known to others, at least).
Several days after that, Lucius invited Jonathan out for a drink. He could see that Dorian was not completely on the same page when it came to that, but he presumed he had still been a bit shaken by Lucius asking him not to participate in caring for Ma anymore. He hoped that, with time, he would get over it, and that he would try to understand the place had been crowded anyway and that Jonathan did not wish to cause him more inconvenience.
They met at the place they had been frequenting in the good old days when all secrets had been securely hidden and when their friendship had not been marred by love confessions and deliberate avoidances. The place was small and was located in a discrete part of the city, a nook where both of them felt safe and warm. It was a café of sorts, with several booths, all of which had been separated by a wall, to add a bit more privacy. Its dark red and green colors with golden lanterns gave off the warm feeling of home.
Lucius’ face was looking thoughtful, and he seemed to have been contemplating something for quite some time. The dark circles under his eyes, that even werewolves got if they spent a sleepless night or two, were visible and marred the overall perfection of his face.
“I wanted to ask you something for a very long time now, Jonny,” he began, looking up from his steaming hot chocolate to meet Jonathan’s eyes. The mesmeric quality of blue encircled by gold never ceased to amaze the younger man.
“You have a business proposal?” Jonathan joked, as he usually did.
“Well … no,” it was evident there were to be no jokes that day, as far as the werewolf was concerned. “I was thinking for a while, about everything. You know … Dad is going to die eventually, too. And I will be there for you, sure. But what if life separates us somehow? Are you going to be alone? Are you going to die alone?”
“Wow, some profound questions so early in the morning, Lucius. What do you want to tell me?” Jonathan was becoming a bit nervous, already suspecting where all of this would eventually lead. “Please tell me you’re not thinking of turning me into a werewolf, are you,” he said in a hushed tone so that nobody would have even a remote chance of overhearing. One had to be careful at all times.
“Oh, come on, you know you’re going to die eventually. You are going to lose another family member, sooner or later. Dad is old and he is going to die, you are aware of that. But if I were to turn you, you would be one of us, and you would have a family forever, you know.”
“Well, I don’t see your family around,” Jonathan retorted, disturbed by what Lucius was suggesting. “You may be one of the most important people to me. You practically raised me. Should I feel unsafe being around you? Should I feel threatened? How are you entitled to decide what I am going to do with my life?!” he hissed. Hearing this from Lucius somehow felt offensive.
“I’m not going to let you offend me like that. I know full well that my family, my pack, doesn’t want to see me ever again, but if I brought you, the ever brilliant mind, into our circle, both of us would be accepted. Just think about it! You and I will share a lifetime together. Both you and I will benefit from this. I’d have my old family back, and add you to it, and you will have a family that will never turn their back on you and …”
“Well, they apparently turned their back on you for not wanting to live a vampiric life like them. And how should I fit into that image? Have you ever wondered what I will have to sacrifice in order to fit in?! I’d have to leave everything behind, stop being who I am. I don’t want to eat human meat. I don’t want to shift shapes. I love human cuisine to bits, thank you very much. A lot of things would drastically change for me, and you never stopped for a second to consider what changes it would bring to me? Just for your sake,” he was about to stand up. “Really, Lucius.”
“I meant nothing wrong by it,” the werewolf replied. “Perhaps you should just step out of your comfort zone and see …”
“See what? Once you turn, you can’t get back to normal, can you? What if I never get used to it? What if I hate it? Are you really so desperate to impress somebody who doesn’t even care about you that you would sacrifice me, of all people?! And let me tell you something about stepping out of the comfort zone, and remember it well—the day I let you eat my parents when I was ten—that’s stepping out of the goddamn comfort zone! Now if you’ll excuse me,” Jonathan stood up and threw some bills on the table, hurriedly exiting the booth and going into the street, soon disappearing around the corner.
Long after that, the two of them had not spoken a word. Dorian was a bit glad, being able to have Lucius all for himself: to go on nightly prowls, to groom each other in their wolf forms, and to make passionate love as humans. For him, life was perfect as it was at that moment. But after another year, one late-night phone call changed that.
“Dad has just died,” was the simple sentence uttered by Jonathan, who was on the other end of the line. And yet again, that strange feeling of being hit by a bus was at work again. It was a fact that was very hard to process immediately, let alone react to. All that Lucius was thinking about at that moment was how Jonathan was feeling and how he could help. Much to Dorian’s dismay, he decided to go there immediately, telling him to stay asleep and that they would call him if he were needed.
In about ten minutes, Lucius was at Jonathan’s adoptive parents’ house. The poor guy was looking crushed, opening the door to let him in. The werewolf pulled him into a tight embrace, and they remained like that for an extended period of time, until the paramedics and the coroner arrived. Jonathan could not remember, later, anything of the ordeal that had been going on in the house. Lucius had been taking care of everything, and when Dad had finally been taken away, the house became quiet as the grave once again.
“So, his sleep apnea finally killed him, huh,” Lucius said, handing a cup of tea to the still-shocked Jonathan, who was sitting on the sofa. “But at least they told us that he didn’t feel anything, no pain or anything similar, so at least that …”
“Yeah … now I’m left all alone.”
“You are not alone, and you know that. You have me. For as long as you need me, Jonathan. You don’t have to turn or anything. I won’t force you, and I won’t bring it up ever again, I promise. So please don’t shut me out,” he sat next to the now twenty-six-year-old, facing him.
“When I was a kid, my real parents used to beat me up a lot. My father mostly, but my mother always thought she could reason with him, that she could get on his good side, and that’s why she joined him in beating me. It was her way of coping with everything, of buying his affection, I guess. Turns out, he wasn’t as sane as she thought he was, and he shot her. We all know how that went. And all those foster homes … I never knew what family looked like and how it felt being in one, but now that I finally found them, they, too, are gone.”
“I know it’s not the same, and it will never be the same, but you have me, your ultimate protector. I will never let anything happen to you,” Lucius put a hand on Jonathan’s. They remained like that, staring into nothingness until sleep took over.
Two days later, Dad was buried as well, and Lucius promised Jonathan he could call him at any time if he needed anything, if only to talk to somebody, which finally happened one evening. Dorian felt a pang of jealousy at that, having already figured out by Lucius’ reactions that there was something more between them than merely brotherly or fatherly love. It angered him, but he was a rational man and knew who had been in Lucius’ life first, and who had always been his priority, so he decided to wait to see whether their relationship had any chance or whether he should end it. He did not say a word when Lucius left.
“I don’t know … even after a month, it all seems so surreal,” Jonathan said, sitting on the sofa with Lucius next to him, the lights dimmed and the room warm. To Jonathan, however, everything seemed cold and lifeless. “One day you have it all, and the very next day … I’m just glad I have you to support me. I know I might be asking too much and that I’m probably causing a strain in your relationship … but right now, I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’ve been cast into an entirely different reality and that everything seems dimmer, darker …”
“It’s just you catching up with the idea of transience,” Lucius tried to explain to him. “It’s natural that you feel this way, and there is not much you can do but learn how to cope with it.”
Jonathan nodded his head. “Sometimes I feel so lonely. It’s constantly cold, no matter how much I turn up the heat. I checked, and I don’t have a fever or anything. I’m feeling so alone right now …”
“But you are not,” the werewolf said caringly, absentmindedly running his fingers through Jonathan’s long hair, feeling its softness. “I’m here for you,” he said, a bit huskily, “I want you to know that.”
Jonathan turned his head toward him, looking at him with a puzzled expression. Those blue eyes with golden rims always knew how to get to him, and now they looked like the sea encircled by the sunlight. Lucius, without conscious thought, was casting a scrutinizing look at the younger man’s face—its delicate, elegant features—as he was inching closer toward him until their lips barely had any space between them. The two men could feel each other’s breath. Then Lucius finally closed the gap, gently pressing his full lips against Jonathan’s.
His lips were moving slowly, and Jonathan’s were responding, moving in unison with the werewolf’s lips. The kiss lasted for minutes, hours, days even, as far as both parties were concerned. It felt warm and beautiful at that moment, sharing somebody’s warmth, being intimate in that way. But Jonathan, upon realizing what was going on, broke the kiss, looking at Lucius in a panicked manner.
“Don’t …” Lucius faltered. “Not now. Don’t stop. Don’t hesitate, please,” he rolled his eyes as he was closing them, yet again claiming his protégé’s lips, but this time in a demanding kiss, tongue invading the space inside of Jonathan’s mouth, and the latter moaned in surprise at a sudden surge of pleasure. Everything after that was moving so fast; he couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Pants unzipped, gasps, moans and groans echoing throughout the empty house, then endless pain, sweat, and the weight of another body. But he never stopped it. It felt quite nice being embraced like this, not feeling alone, at least for the brief ten minutes of struggle and pain of this messy sexual act.
But soon after came regret, and both parties dressed, embarrassed, avoiding each other’s eyes. “I … I don’t know what to say …” Lucius began.
“Just don’t. Don’t say anything. This never happened. It was disgusting and wrong, and it never happened, you hear me? If you want us to remain friends, this time, this never happened,” Jonathan said, dismayed. Being with another man, doing that with the person he thought of as his family, felt terribly confusing and wrong.
Lucius left, without trying to explain himself or to ruin everything by more talking. He had finally been able to hold the man he loved for so long, but not in the way he had always imagined. Lucius wanted to do everything with him, to be able to feel his skin against his own, to caress him and make love to him; to bend him over and brutally fuck him so that he would not be able to sit for a very long time. Still, Lucius could not say he was completely unhappy with how things had turned out. He had finally been inside him, the only person that mattered in the entire universe.
The only thing that made the whole situation grim was Dorian. He had completely forgotten about him in the heat of the moment, and only when he was on his way back to his apartment did he realize how much he had wronged him by doing this. The sweet, good-natured Dorian whom, when he thought more clearly, he saw more like a good friend than a lover but did not have the courage to tell him that. But living with someone in dishonesty could only bring more suffering and misunderstandings, so he decided he would tell him immediately what had happened. He knew it would not be easy to tell something as disgusting as that, and that Dorian would probably be mad at him, but there was nothing he could really do to fix the situation.
“I kinda already knew where this all would go eventually. It still hurts, though,” the kind, beautiful young werewolf with a tremendous sense of humor said, sitting on the loveseat in Lucius’ apartment with his elbows poking into his thighs, his hands holding his head. “I guess it’s good you decided to be honest with me, and I appreciate that … I was actually thinking of breaking things off with you for a while now, but not like this; although deep down, I anticipated that something like this would happen.”
“I know it’s a lame thing to say, but I really didn’t know how things would turn out … I should have had more self-control …”
“Yes, you should have. But he has always been the one, not me. I was just the pastime. I know you never meant any harm, and I appreciate it. And now it’s time for me to go,” Dorian said. “I’ll pack my things right away and ask Darius to take me in for the time being.”
“Dorian, I really feel bad about this. You can stay as long as you want … I mean, I’m sorry that I caused you such an inconvenience …”
“Don’t worry,” Dorian smiled weakly, “I’ll manage somehow.”
As ever, Darius was the voice of reason that never gave up on the idea of Lucius and Jonathan becoming a couple. “He disliked the utterly adorable Dorian, who was only trying to help, and he never refused your advances that night. Jonathan slept with you, consensually. I guess he just can’t fathom the idea of being with another man is all. We just need to make him realize that he likes you too.”
“Your ideas and your enthusiasm never cease to amaze me. What have you thought of this time?” Lucius gave out a hearty laugh. “But seriously, give it up. It was just a mistake. We won’t repeat it again and that’s it.
“Come on, don’t be ridiculous! Here, I’ll volunteer to pretend to be your boyfriend, and we’ll see how it develops from there, okay?”
Even though it might turn out to be a bad decision, Lucius decided to try once more. He had nothing to lose, actually, because his private life was his own business and nobody else’s, and pretending to be with Darius would not actually hurt Jonathan in a way that he could lose him for good. “Okay, okay, I give up. From tomorrow on, you’re my boyfriend.”
Darius cast an impish smile in his direction, clapping his hands together. “Excellent!”
Despite the night they had spent together, Lucius and Jonathan still saw each other as friends, and there wasn’t much awkwardness because they always made sure to have plenty of topics to talk about. Absolutely no dead air of silence could creep in during their short pauses in conversation.
Lucius never expected that Darius’ ploy would actually work. But he did notice how shocked Jonathan appeared to be when they had told him about it. And how he winced every time they displayed that make-believe affection toward each other. Lucius would notice stares cast in their direction whenever they touched each other. Jonathan began avoiding their invitations to go out or do things together.
“I told you, the guy likes you; he just doesn’t want to admit it. Now we’ll break up, and he’s gonna come running into your arms. Just be careful, don’t be hasty and reckless. Don’t blow it,” Darius instructed him, grinning at his unintended pun; Lucius, encouraged by their small discovery, swore that he would not.
Jonathan’s reaction to the news of their breakup was pretty much what Darius had told him to expect. Jonathan somehow felt relieved. They were watching a game at Lucius’ place, casually drinking beer and exchanging small talk.
“What was that fling with Darius anyway?” Jonathan asked all of a sudden.
“I wouldn’t say it was a fling, actually,” Lucius deliberately said. “I kinda felt that I was beginning to fall in love with him … but he’s a player, and we decided to go our separate ways.”
“Oh, I see,” Jonathan lowered his head. “I’m glad you found somebody else to love … I mean, that you moved on, after Dorian and everything.”
“Are you really glad that I found somebody else,” Lucius turned toward Jonathan, looking at him with a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” Jonathan straightened up in his seat.
“Why are you reacting like that, then? Being all defensive. Ogling at Darius and me whenever we did something.”
“Don’t be paranoid, geez,” Jonathan snorted, nonchalantly taking a sip of his beer, “I just found it strange that the two of you, of all people, ended up as a couple is all.”
“So … there’s nothing else?”
“Why didn’t you push me off then? Why did you sleep with me? You could have easily pushed me off, yet you didn’t. You were kissing me back. You were leaning into me. You never once told me to stop. Why is that?” Lucius persisted.
“That’s because I was feeling lonely, having lost all of my family. Anybody would do,” Jonathan said in his defense, flustered.
“Oh, really? Even me, who was, at that time, in a stable relationship? Not to mention that you rejected me years ago, too. Don’t tell me it was only that because you never liked Dorian to begin with, even though he had done nothing wrong to you,” Lucius did not want to let it go. It was time for such a confrontation, the final confrontation, which would decide whether everything would end, or begin.
“What do you want me to tell you, then? That I don’t like seeing you with other men? That I couldn’t face my own feelings? That I never loved anyone, and that Joanna was just a distraction? Yes, yes it was! Are you satisfied now? Are you happy?! How …” he stood up demonstratively. “How am I supposed to justify to myself that I was attracted to you, of all people, a male, a werewolf, my family?!”
“It’s really easy, Jonathan: the same way I admitted it!” Lucius stood up as well, facing the younger man. “If you could just give us a chance!”
“But what if it fails? Then what do I do?”
“It won’t. I promise.”
“How can you promise me something like that?”
“I’ll turn you into a werewolf if you want. All we need is a full moon. I’ll bite you then, and you will finally be mine. We would live forever until the world ends, and we’ll always be together.”
“Then turn me if you think that’s smart! I won’t say no to that, but I will hold you responsible if you ever leave me …”
“I won’t leave you. I’m never going to do that. I know it’s stupid promising something like that, but I will do my best, Jonathan.”
Jonathan sighed as Lucius ran his palms over his naked skin. They both stood bare in the center of a clearing in the forest of Lucius’ birth, on the night of the full moon. This was the new beginning, the new initiation. The electrifying feeling of Lucius’ touch was spreading all over Jonathan’s body like wildfire, and he was surprised by the surge of sensations he was feeling at that moment. His entire life was about to change, but he could not even begin to think about it, having been touched this way in so many places he could barely contain his screams and moans. Lucius was now kissing his neck, their chests touching, transferring all the heat from their perfectly sculpted bodies. Lucius’ body was strong and Jonathan felt secure in his embrace, able to feel the massive erection of the giant cock the werewolf was sporting. The sensation of such a large organ against his thigh was enough to awaken his own penis, which Lucius firmly took into his hand and began stroking, going with his palm over the head, making him moan loudly, under the moon.
Lucius was stroking faster and faster, pumping blood into the impressively big organ for a human, then he abruptly stopped, cupping Jonathan’s testicles instead, clashing them gently together, and making his lover feel even better than before.
“Oh … Luc …” Jonathan moaned in pleasure, separating his lover’s lips from his neck in order to kiss him deeply. “Let me taste you,” it was something he had wanted to do a long time ago. He had never gotten to do it, but he had fantasized about it. Lucius let go of him, and the young man dropped to his knees, tracing the length of the penis first, before swallowing it whole in one go, examining its taste and texture. The smoothness of the foreskin felt amazing in his mouth, and the slightly bitter taste teased his taste buds.
Soon he began sucking harder as he gained confidence, helping his moving lips and contracting throat with his right hand, pumping that hard cock that became wetter and hotter the more he sucked. Lucius grabbed him by the hair and began moaning, almost howling as his lover stimulated all the right nerve endings. But he did not want to come so fast, not now when he was so close to the completion of what he had long desired.
He yanked Jonathan’s head away from his cock and sat on the wet grass, pulling the human into his lap. Jonathan straddled him, as they held each other close, grinding against each other, while their tongues danced around one another’s, making their cocks drip and twitch even more.
“I should prepare you,” Lucius whispered, as he spat on his two fingers, slowly inserting them inside of Jonathan’s anus. The sensation was strange at first, but the more the youth impaled himself on it, the more it felt good. Having Lucius’ fingers deep inside him felt heavenly, so he bounced up and down on them, casting his head backward and exposing his throat. Lucius was looking up at him in awe of his exquisite beauty, the pale skin complementing the shine of the moon.
Slowly, he removed his fingers and replaced them with his hard, swollen cock, and Jonathan gladly continued riding the thick rod, holding his lover close, as they moaned and grunted together.
“I think I love you,” Jonathan said in the spur of the moment, feeling overwhelmed with all the sensations he was experiencing for the first time.
“I know. I love you too,” Lucius whispered, gasping for breath and trembling violently. Jonathan kept impaling himself, hitting the sweet spot he had just discovered, the place that made him crazed and euphoric, until both of them began building their orgasms.
“Ah … yes! Oh, hell, yes!” Jonathan screamed as he came hard all over their bodies, and Lucius came soon after him, deep inside his anus, so much that it immediately began dripping downward. As he was coming, he bit the shoulder of his lover, but the latter didn’t feel any pain, still being under the charm of his first anal orgasm.
Lucius held Jonathan tightly in his embrace long afterward, warming his body with the younger man’s feverish one. Jonathan was going to turn into one of them. The pack that was once Lucius’ family soon encircled them, sitting, and waiting for the awakening of the new member, who appeared to be a promising addition to their family. They nodded their heads in acknowledgment of their outcast member, silently telling him they would take him back.
Jonathan felt funny when he stood up, not knowing how to react to what his body was doing. At first, it felt painful, but soon the pain stopped as he began to shift under the full moon, into a gracious new wolf, shedding his human skin. Right next to him, Lucius had already turned, and the pair, for the first time together, began howling at the full moon; moments later, the entire pack started howling along with them. And as long as Lucius was with him Jonathan knew that he would never be alone again.